


Me, Myself and I

by suzannahbee123



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 10:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16427804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzannahbee123/pseuds/suzannahbee123
Summary: Steve Rogers thinks back over the break up of The Avengers after the end of Civil War.





	Me, Myself and I

**Author's Note:**

> The lines in italics are song lyrics from "Me, Myself and I" by Hanson.

_t must be the end of the road_  
It must be the end of you and I  
And forever too  
Walking the last bridge alone  
We’ve given up on the good times  
And the bad we knew  
  


When you’re alone, that’s when you see things clearly. The distractions and noise from other voices were gone, leaving cold, hard, clarity in its wake. Four years on the team of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and this was how it ended. With them broken, separated. Alone.

 _When I’m alone in a cold, dark room, well_  
There’s still someone  
That I can tell my troubles to

Steve watched his oldest friend become frozen in time again, in a country that wasn’t their own. At least this time Bucky had a choice. At least this time Steve knew he was safe and wouldn’t be broken and re shaped into a machine built for death over and over again.

Bucky would be safe but Steve would be more alone than ever.

  
 _Me, myself, and I will never be alone_  
We’ll find a way to get along  
And we’ll be fine  
When all that’s left is me, myself, and I  
Myself and I will never be alone  
We will find a way to get along  
And we’ll be fine  
When all that’s left is me, myself, and I  
  


Steve had never been one to second guess or doubt himself. Why should he? As someone who was never going to make it to an age where he would be _afforded_ a chance to have regrets, Steve would always do exactly what he thought was right in any given situation and damn the consequences.

This certainty followed him into his new, healthy body and further into the twenty first century. Why should his certainty in what was right ever be wrong now?

 _When did it start getting old?_  
When did it stop being worth the time  
Just to see it through?

Things were different here, though. The world wasn’t black and white. Good vs Evil. The Avengers were made up of people who had lived questionable lives, before. Killers, spies, assassins and creators of WMD’s. No one could agree on any one thing, _especially_ when it mattered.

Steve had always hated shades of grey.

  
 _I don’t wanna get used to “It’s over”_  
We’ve already said too much  
To make it new

These four years as part of this team though… they frustrated him, angered him… but they had grounded him too. Made him look at things from so many more points of view than just “what was right”. Then the base at Sokovia had happened… the Tesseract and the Maximoff twins… Steve had been so angry at Tony about Ultron, had felt justified in his anger when Sokovia was destroyed.

He wished he had taken the time to tell Tony that he was more angry at himself… for not admitting that if he had been a better friend earlier, Tony would’ve been more comfortable to talk to the team about what he was thinking about creating.

Steve sighed to himself. Maybe he should’ve listened to his own advice. Allowed Tony the chance to be a better friend to him when he found out about what had happened in December 1991.

  
 _When I’m alone in a cold, dark room, well_  
There’s still someone  
That I can tell my troubles to  
Me, myself, and I will never be alone  
We’ll find a way to get along  
And we’ll be fine  
When all that’s left is me, myself, and I  
Myself and I will never be alone  
We will find a way to get along  
And we’ll be fine  
When all that’s left is me, myself, and I

Could Steve have prevented what had happened? Saved the team?

_“When they shoot at you, they usually wind up shooting at me, too.”_

_“Are you sure you want to punch your way out of this?”_

_“Steve, that is dangerously arrogant.”_

_“I’m saying that there is a causality.”_

His team had tried to talk to him. Steve knew this.

_“I’m not sure I’m worth all this, Steve.”_

But, Bucky had been. The only truly innocent person in that airport.

  
_Well, it’s hard to see you don’t belong to me  
‘Cause I gave you the best part of my life_

Hands shaking in futile anger, Steve knew he had made the right choice. Look at what happened!

_“I’m sorry. He’s my friend.”_

_“So was I.”_

There were those shades of grey again. Steve’s heart hurt knowing the damage that he had caused.

  
 _Well, I tried to be everything that you want me to be_  
But I don’t have to give you reasons why  
'Cause all that’s left is me, myself, and I

Tony should know. Tony had always been by himself too, even when surrounded by people. Two men caught up in other people’s perceptions of them. Why hadn’t he just tried to understand…

  
 _I’m not gonna try to forget_  
Maybe happiness  
Is worth the chance of a bitter end  
'Cause here at the end of the road  
I don’t really care who is right  
I’ll give you the last word tonight

Tony could win this. Whatever Steve said to himself, he knew that Tony was right to be mad. Steve had played this one wrong and it was going to haunt him.

Good thing he was going to live forever. Tony would never have to relive his mistakes for as long as Steve would.

  
 _'Cause me, myself, and I will never be alone_  
We’ll find a way to get along  
And we’ll be fine  
When all that’s left is me, myself, and I  
  


The box was packed and ready to be shipped, the letter was written in as steady a hand as Steve could manage. This was his attempt at an olive branch but Steve knew that it wouldn’t be accepted. The Avengers were no more, and it was his fault.

 _Myself and I will never be alone_  
We will find a way to get along  
And we’ll be fine  
When all that’s left is me, myself, and I

 


End file.
